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Severe Anxiety
Ever wondered what happened to someone when anxiety reached the point of paranoia? Ever wondered what would happen to those who went untreated for their condition? Severe anxiety can be quite an unfortunate illness, especially when it is ignored and the illness is denied any serious consideration by the family. Iris Snow was in one of her many daydream thoughts as she sketched in her book. Effectively ignoring the teacher, she knew the material already anyway. She was a young girl, not even 20 yet. Light olive toned skin and dark brown hair with the eyes to match. She often considered herself quite plain compared to the people she knew and had known her whole life. She also happened to be quite short, standing at only 5'3. She had lived a relatively calm life aside from being removed from her mother's custody with her younger siblings, though that was well over 10 years ago. Now she had finished high school and started college for her associates in Graphic Design. Closing the book she sighed and started to put her stuff away, tensing as she normally did when she felt that relentless gaze. Oh, how she hated the owner of that gaze, she could never find the source of it and it made her anxious, nervous even. She mentioned this to her guardians several times, however, it was never acknowledged. "Oh you're from a small country town Iris, it's probably some boy who has his eye on you. You're our beautiful niece after all. can't see how any boy wouldn't like you." As creepy as that is already, the thought of having a stalker, she didn't believe whatever was watching her was a person, or even really a 'thing'. Not only that but it's been plaguing her since sophomore year. Though back then it had been quite tame, unnoticeable as the feeling was fleeting, leaving as quickly as she thought she felt it. Only to become stronger and almost life halting now as she moves closer to the midterm of her second semester at college. The bell rings and with a heavy sigh, she finishes packing her stuff and pulls her backpack on and quickly slips out the door of the college classroom. Her anxiety climbing as she noticed one of the guys behind her trying to catch up with her. She didn't want to talk to anyone, her stutter when speaking while anxious and lack of confidence which bloomed upon the arrival of the intensifying gaze, reminded her constantly she wasn't fit to interact with other human beings. She was much better behind a screen. Unfortunately, she didn't make it outside and to the safety of her bus stop. No, a guy named Juno Inoshi stopped her just before the door. Sure he was handsome, he wanted to be a graphic designer for Spike Chunsoft if she recalled, but this didn't matter in the wake of anxiety. He stood towering over her at 6'7 with a pearly white smile, dark tan skin and green emerald pools for eyes, and his hair was black with the tips dyed to be snow white. She blushed darkly at this looking up at him rather timidly. "W-what do you w-want J-Juno?" Suddenly becoming aware of her own yellowing teeth and imperfect freckling of sun marks on her own face. He smiled softly at her and held out something in the palm of his hand, it was a small piece of paper. "Hey, I always see you around and you don't seem like you really talk to anyone... but you seem really nice so, shoot me a message when you can? You don't have to if you don't want to though." Iris blushes even worse at this and gently took the paper scrap, the anxious feeling climbing steadily higher as she continued with the interaction. "O-ok..." she responded hesitantly, Juno smiled and stood up straight. "Awesome! Look forward to hearing from ya!" He hummed happily as he took off for another class judging by the direction he took off. Holding the paper to her chest she cherished it, rushing off to her bus stop to get to home as soon as possible. She stepped off the bus, the anxious feeling still there but not as bad as when she had interacted with Juno. Frowning to herself she entered the home calling out that she was there. Unfortunately, or fortunately in her case, no one was home. With a sigh, she dropped her stuff in a chair and grabbed her a drink and snack from the kitchen. She then returned to her stuff in the living room and slung it over her shoulder with the small bag of food in the same hand before heading to her room upstairs. Setting the food bag aside on her desk and her drink on the other side she sloppily let the school bag down and pulled out her computer. She hooked it up, powered it on, and sat back closing her eyes as she waited for the bootup process to finish. Suddenly remembering the paper slip she quickly sat back up, painfully aware of the anxious nerves building up inside of her making her mind jump to all sorts of conclusions and endings. However, she opened the paper anyway, on it she noticed that it had some letters scrawled onto it in rather small print for what it was supposed to hold. It read, "Dear Iris, I didn't know if you had Discord or not, but if you don't, get it. I don't have a phone so I use this site instead. Username: JunoTheGhost#2241" She happened to have Discord already so she searched the username in the friend finding box and sent an invite. She nervously shifted from bouncing her leg and waiting for the response, then she noticed a message request, she accepted it and it was from the same username but it just sent her a link to join another server. She cautiously clicked the join button as she didn't know what it had in store. When it loaded it was a server that seemed like it was themed in self-help through spiritual and Other means of help. Who she assumed to be Juno, or at the very least the same user who invited her, welcomed her to the server. She typed back saying she was glad and thanking him for the invite. A small smile starts to form on her face as she messages back and forth, eventually meeting others on the server. Some hippies as she expected and others on the total opposite side of the spectrum being self-proclaimed white witches. Though most of them were like her, regular-seeming people. When she finally said goodnight to those who were leaving for their nights' rest it was already around 2 am in the morning. With a yawn she got up to go get a drink of water, that is when she noticed the house was oddly quiet. No one had come home, she frantically checked the garage for the cars, nothing, she rushed to their rooms, nothing, soon she started calling. Nothing. Not even a ring, all their phones were off or dead, she assumed anyway as they all went straight to voicemail. She had to stop and catch her breath to recollect herself, she was just overreacting, maybe she was just dreaming. 'That's it, I just fell asleep at my desk while talking with them, that's all,' she tried reasoning with herself. But then she noticed the shadows, they seemed to be looking at her out of the corner of her eye. Sucking a deep breath she quickly took her glass and went upstairs. She noticed her laptop had gone to sleep, was she really gone that long? She looked at the clock, it was already 2:30 am. Where had all the time gone? She hadn't been gone but only a few minutes, atleast, she thought it was only a few minutes. With a sigh she got back into her seat, feeling more anxious than usual. She convinced herself everything was fine though, it had to be, she had a test next week to be sharp for and couldn't afford to worry about this much longer. That test did not come though, in fact currently she was held in custody by police. She paced in the interrogation room biting at her nails, her hair was messy and a little greasy, she looked overly anxious. The only little bit of calm she had was in her phone while talking to Juno, who she had confirmed sent her the invite on Discord, and was trying to figure out the situation with her. Apparently, her family really did never come home that night or the next. In fact, they were STILL missing and the watching feeling only got worse, scratching at her arms, unwitting to the bleeding and bruising that caused. Finally, she cried out as she accidentally bit too hard on her finger when a particularly nervous bout hit her. "a-AH! Ow!" Dropping her phone with a clatter and holding her hand close she sheds a few tears. It was bleeding badly, she didn't realize her teeth were so sharp. Gingerly she picked up her phone as a woman quickly comes up to her and wraps her finger to stop the bleeding. They had questioned her not too long ago about this as she was the one that called it in. She wasn't crazy, it was the third day in a row they questioned her since she reported it. She continued to message Juno who was trying his hardest to calm her down, though it wasn't really working as you would have been able to tell by the spiraling conversation. Which eventually ended in her breaking her phone against the concrete wall after a particularly angering conversation; in which he believed she was just overreacting. She watched the guard with fleeting eyes as they watched her, she didn't like this, that feeling increased tenfold with what she already experienced on a daily basis. She held herself and tried to calm down, to no avail. The investigation and questioning of her continued for a while, eventually landing with her at a psychiatrist and being prescribed medication for what they said was severe anxiety. The bruising and scratching and injuring of herself had decreased significantly and the feeling had died down to almost nothing after a couple of months. She was still unsupported mostly as her sisters and guardians were still missing, nothing had been found. Juno stayed close to her, even moved in. despite her delusions from time to time they managed to become a couple. He kept her in check by making her take her meds, even when she disliked them. Happily, she continued on for a few more months, then Juno had to go on a trip for one of his classes and would be gone a couple of weeks. She couldn't go with him but promised that she would keep herself in check. What she didn't tell him, was that the feeling of the gaze had started to overcome her medication. She had made it fine the first couple of days, however, the feeling of being watched started to become almost as strong as it had been when she found her family missing, she pulled at her hair and tried hard to figure out what it was, she looked around and desperately searched for the source going from room to room, checking in and out of different places. Nothing happened for the next couple of days, That's when she started to notice the figures and the laughs. They sounded like her family. Looking around desperate she continued trying to find the source of the noises, noticing the shadowy figures run from place to place. Now she refused to sleep, and there was a good week left before Juno would come home. Sure she could message him and ask him to come back early but she was sure that it was just delusions as she was told by her psychiatrist. That was till she caught one of the shadowy figures in the light. It looked like one of her sisters, but the eyes were sunken in and the mouth slit up both sides, the right side being stitched up bloody and bruised, the body looking bluish and oddly cold. She giggled and ran off. Iris followed, eyes wide, that's when she noticed that she was lead to the garage. Looking around she caught her eye on the ax hanging on the wall, sure it was old and a little rusty but it would do... whatever that thing was, it wasn't her sister anymore. She exited the room, the feeling of being watched increasing. She noticed the form of her sister there again, giggling, she ran and Iris chased after. She didn't know what came over her, but the thought that maybe if she killed these things then she could get rid of the relentless gaze. Eventually, she cornered and butchered the small form. Iris breathed heavily, eventually standing straight and observing the damage. The mangled and distorted screams from the form were heavily imprinted on her mind, but she felt a little less watched. She looked at the form below her noting that it was beyond recognizable at that point, her arms were weak and tired but she noticed another figure at the door, a taller one, presumably her male guardian given the shape of the shadow. She turned slowly and looked at him, hair over her eyes and drenched in sweat from her anxiousness and activities. "Were you watching me?" The house was a mess, blood painted the room she slept in, as the upstairs hall and the living room. She had found and killed all 4 of the beings in the house, she felt happy, elated even. It seemed like it was over, she wanted to remember this, her victory. Smiling she took a blade out from the bathroom razor and ran it under the hottest possible water she could, and carefully picking it up sliced the corners of her mouth upward, and then disposing of the blade. Looking at herself she couldn't even see that she could do anything else, but then had an idea. Thinking that sewing together the wounds would make for a better reminder as it would leave scars and less chance to cause infection, she got her sewing kit out and got to work, however she ran out of the thread after finishing the right side of her face. She went to seek out more but to no avail. Disappointed but not too unhappy she exited the bathroom and hummed, she went into her room, stepping over the corpse lying there. She went to her closet to grab her jacket. she wanted to go down to the police station to report what happened, then she felt a presence behind her. Suddenly the intense anxious feeling of being the gaze trained on her stopped her in her tracks. She turned, slowly gripping the ax, to look at the figure behind her. "Who are you?" Juno decided to come home early, Iris hadn't answered the chat in a good day or so when she would normally update him every 10-12 hours and he was worried. He took the closest flight out and to come back to the house. He opened the door and was appalled by the smell that wafted up to his nose, like rotting meat left out for days. Walking around he stopped dead in his tracks and stared at the living room wall. The message "Were you watching me?" Scrawled on the walls in the corner while blood spatters from the rotting body below it decorated the wording which seemed to have been written using the same dried substance below the body. He wanted to puke but held it in with a rough gulp and left the house to call the police. During the investigation, they identified the bodies as Iris's two sisters and two guardians only through the items they held, though they were unsure how they ended up there after being missing for almost a year. Alongside this was the worrying subject of the medication in the medicine cabinet. It consisted of empty bottles and all the pills were in the bottom of the toilet, clogging it. There was no note and Iris was missing. It took weeks but soon the house was cleared out and Juno was able to go into the garage and collect his things. He noticed that there was an empty spot on Iris's father's tool rack. Shaking his head he exited and took a box out to his car, that's when he noticed a slight twinge that, maybe, something was watching him. Category:Mental Illness